Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
