Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
