i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
