Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
