i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Mom said you looked used
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
