Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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