I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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