u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
