I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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