lets start a swedish sibling band together
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
