what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
