we made out on top of his cat.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
