it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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