bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
