Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
