i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize