Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
