yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
