the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's never too late to be topless.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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