I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
