make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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