Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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