I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
