You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
