I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
