The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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