My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
