are you still at the devil's house?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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