dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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