maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
