she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
