tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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