He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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