who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
