Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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