You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
this just has baby written all over it
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize