Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
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