we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
