Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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