whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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