After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
