Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I would fuck him just for his dog
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