If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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