I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize