my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
