I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
