You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
