Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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