Nicole vs. Life
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
