we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
