my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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