Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work

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(440): View more from Ohio

woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before

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(757): View more from Virginia

I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

She still started it.

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(661): View more from California

fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?

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(850): View more from Florida

I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?

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