with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
