is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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