i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
