If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
