Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
