i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
not ubering you a puppy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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