I feel great
I just peed on a car
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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